Post-partum blues (not)


I have just given birth last month. A month before that, my father died. A week before his death, I was busy preparing for what could be the biggest step in our lives.


That was how my year started: with lots of stress. Someone commented on how bravely I was going through all these: "how can you handle these things?".


It wasn't as if I just breezed through them. Fresh from the Christmas rush (I was very pregnant and had to do the shopping for everyone), I had to do another very important thing in January that needed my full energy, lots of money (that meant bulk of our life savings), and my full concentration. Neil and I worked through the final step in one whole day, with me taking a leave from work to accomplish it.


We finished it on my father's birthday, January 22. Six days after, he passed away.


A month after, February 22, I gave birth to Kaitlin Ava. Underwent caesarian section.


Three "stressors" in just one quarter. "I could have died from stress," someone said to me.


I did submit myself to stress. Grief. Despair.


I stressed over our first task. But I chose to make tress a good thing because we finished it complete, and on our target date.


I grieved over my father's death. But I did not wallow in it, because I had already long forgiven him, and had no regrets with our relationship. We had exchanged text messages a week before he died, and it was a peaceful exchange. I dreamed about him, twice, and it wasn't grim at all. My heart wasn't heavy.


I underwent a painful surgery to bring forth Kaitlin Ava. But I recovered quickly, and stayed in the hospital for just about two days. I fought to purely
breastfeed her, ignoring others' comments that I should give her formula milk because she seemed "not to get enough milk" because of her constant feeding at my breast. I read and read about breastfeeding, and I alone encouraged myself. I know Kaitlin gets the milk that she needs. We're on our sixth week now and she's still purely breastfed.


I woke up today and wondered how I fought all these. And then I chanced upon Exie's blog and read about "The miracle of melancholia" by Eric Wilson (published on
the Los Angeles Times): "We need sorrow, constant and robust, to make us human, alive, sensitive to the sweet rhythms of growth and decay, death and life". I have
not been aware of sorrow's "benefits" until I have read this piece. And there's a mention of Joni Mitchell's take on gloom: she sees her sorrow as the "sand that
makes the pearl". Very well said, indeed.

Fedex SUCKS!

They do--big time.


Last week, Neil sent a package to his sister Sheila in the UK. It contained a Treo 680 and an iPod Touch 16GB--both units with their original boxes, accessories, manuals. Neil spent almost an hour at the Fedex branch to fill up the forms and monitor the packaging (the Fedex people were the ones who put the units in bubble wrap and they also created a customized box). He scrutinized every detail.


Two days after, Sheila sent a text message that she just got the package, and that she'll check it "later" because she was still at work. Neil and I marveled at how fast and efficient Fedex was.


Three minutes after we received Sheila's first text message, we got another one: the package was tampered, bubble wrap was a mess, and there were no units. What was in the package? Just the box of the Treo 680 and its manual and CD.


At first I thought it was a joke. We called her up, and indeed, there was no iPod Touch nor Treo 680 inside the package! According to Sheila, there was a hole at the bottom of the box, which was promptly covered by a Fedex sticker.


We immediately called Fedex's Customer Care number and reported the incident. The CC rep informed us that we can either claim the declared value that Neil put on the form, or request for them to look for the units.


We called up Neil's sister again to discuss the matter. We further found out that:

1. Sheila was not the one who "received" the package. Someone else did, and just handed the package to her after. Per Fedex policy, the package must be delivered to the recipient, and in case the recipient is not available, there should be an authorization letter from the recipient. Sheila did not authorize anyone to receive the package, but Fedex did not ask for the authorization letter, nor for Sheila, who was in the area anyway.
   
2. Upon confirmation with the Customer Care Rep, the declared value that was in their database was just half of the value which was on the form that Neil filled out! (Neil had to then scan and email the form which showed the full value.)
   

We decided that we will just claim the cost, because looking for the units seemed like a lost cause. Fedex said they will investigate, but they could not tell us their timelines nor assure us that we will indeed get our claim.


We never thought a thing like this could happen--with Fedex at that! :( Unbelievable. We've sent other packages to UK before, via our local post office, and they arrived intact!


So guys--extra caution and discretion when sending packages.


And wish us luck that we'll be able to get back what we've lost! :(