Got music? I have!

Yesssss, I finally got my iPod Nano today!!! Neil surprised me with this early Christmas gift, hehehe.

Just got a little messed up installing the darned software. Had to reset the Nano, reinstall the software, reset the PC. Thanks to Armel's help...he walked me through the installation process for the second time. How stupid can I get? Oh well...I must have missed a click or two and I must have slightly disobeyed warnings about connecting the iPod...;p But anyway, was able to fix it. So now am madly importing songs and folders and CDA files!

Have to get those screen protectors and case for the Nano soon. And maybe Lanyard earphones, hmmmm. And then pray that someone wraps up those teeny Bose speakers for me for Christmas. ;p

Yay! There won't be much sleep for me tonight. Hehehe.

She's leaving home...

Sigh. Tomorrow, my best friend Tiffany's leaving. She's joining the ship for the South America/Carribean cruise. She'll be gone for another ten months.

I SMS'd best friend Ruth earlier and mused about the two of us being left again. And then she's (Ruth) next to leave (because she's pursuing her OT career in the US), and then it's just me.

Darn. Why do people have to come, and then go? My oldest best friend (meaning, we've been BFs since second grade) has already left for the US four years ago. Sure, there are phone calls and occasional emails (hey, not my fault, Hazel's too lazy even to read email, let alone reply), but it's not the same. Heck, she missed my wedding. And even Lia's birth. I have to understand why she can't come home, and I'm just comforted by the thought that she's there in spirit.

Ooooh well. I guess sometimes life has to work that way. And I have to be thankful that life worked for us four to still be part of each other's lives.

XXXOOO (Hugs and Kisses)

When she saw my tear-streaked face, she reached out, almost instantly -

And she struggled to stand, balancing her body on the unstable bed mattress -

Reached out, leaned very close -

Kissed my tears and embraced my neck.

And when I didn't stop

She did it again, and again

Her hugs becoming tighter than the previous one

As she tried her very best to comfort Mommy.

At last, succeeding

Mother and daughter embrace each other

And sleep in each other's arms.

Unbecoming

I figured it out. I've just been so out of it the past weeks. Everything felt like 'blah'. Sure, I had Lia to cheer me up when I got home from work, but when I go to sleep, there's something different, even strange, that I feel.

I lost it. I lost my sense of kakikayan! OMG. Whatever happened to "beauty above all"? It's lost, lost, lost, I tell you!

I realized it when I found myself thinking about that item I've been eyeing at the mall. A four-burner plus two-rack Elba oven. Not that Body Shop liquid foundation, nor the L'oreal juicy tubes I've always-wanted-to-buy-but-now-it's-pushed-to-the-back-of-my-mind. No.

And when I did realize that indeed, my habits, priorities, and wants have changed, I panicked. I looked at myself in the mirror - in horror. Dark rings under my eyes. More pronounced pores (God, I need that facial ASAP). Long unkempt hair. And my fat bulging tummy that's mostly-post-pregnancy-but-never-did-anything-about-it-so-now-it's-bulging-more-than-ever.

So unbecoming!

I hate myself.

But I thought, I have to do something. It's just not me. It's like I lost a part of myself. Of my soul.

Therefore: I asked help from Mudra - Armel. I asked for a makeover.

God help me!

My best friend's engagement

Tomorrow, Ruth and I are going to see Tiff and her fiance Tadgh. We already saw Tiff last Sunday, a few hours after she landed. Tadgh arrived Monday night, and we have yet to see him (well, I've already met him last year, but Ruth has not.)

Tiff and Tadgh are engaged now...and in a few days the couple shall announce the big news to the family. Tiff is also working on getting an Irish visa so she can go meet Tadgh's family.

But tomorrow, we are suprising them...oh yes we are! Hahaha! (When Tiff finds out it was my idea, I'm sure she'd kill me.)

I ordered balloons from balloonist Petite (she made the balloons for Lia's party). I don't know yet what the bunch looks like, but I specified champagne glass, dark blue or dark red balloons (Tiff's favorite colors), and an arrangement that spells engagement. ;p

Am praying Tiff won't think of reading my blog tonight...

Long weekend, yay!

Thanks to GMA's SONA, Monday is a holiday. Woohoo!

What to do? Tomorrow, shop for Lia's clothes (can't believe how fast she's outgrown her clothes). Tomorrow night - well, await Tiffany's arrival (hope we can chat as soon as your plane lands, Tiff, hehehe). Sunday, laze around. Oh, maybe drop by the salon and have my eyebrows thread(ed) and my hair cut. And pedicure and manicure. Monday, laze around some more. Hehehe.

Shaddup

I'm telling that to myself. After getting into trouble (twice, mind you) yesterday for not keeping my mouth shut.

The first one, for divulging information that I hadn't intended to...and leading to some people getting harassed and hurt. It was never intended - it was information that I "gave" because the topic of conversation was related to that particular matter.

The second one - for sharing a problem with someone...and her sharing it with people I least wished to share with. Now everyone's concerned over it. That's okay, except that that problem I had - it's already resolved. Sigh. Now the issue's back and am in big trouble again.

Haaaay, stress. Need facial.

Survived the first one!

Lia just turned one, and she had one heck of a party. See how it went!

June 26 a special day

Indeed. It's my daughter's birthday - and best friend John's, too!

No, I did not schedule my childbirth on this day. I was just as surprised as everyone! Of course, John was the first one I texted when my water broke that day and I knew I was already going to give birth. =p

So now - one more reason to celebrate June 26th!

Busy Momma

Uh-huh...preparing for Lia's first birthday party. Hehehe.

See my mommy blog for deetz.

My lost CDs

My lost CDs
Originally uploaded by micaela.

I finally mustered enough courage to think about my lost CDs again.

Here are some of my favorites that were lost along with my CD case.

=(

It used to be much simpler...

Yeah, life did. Not much worries, nor hurries. Plans there were not; everything was on impulse -- and back then, that was so much fun. Spontaneity was in.

Inflation was relative. Yes, we worried about money, but money is nothing. It was just money and you can always earn it.

Everyone was in love. Lived together, engaged, married - and stayed.

Why does it seem much complicated now? It should not be.

My precioussss, lost

Original, hard-to-find, favorite CDs - about 15 or 20 of them lost.

Left them in the cab this morning. Why o why did I leave them there? I could have left my lunchbox instead. But no. I had to leave my precious CDs.

With the help of June, I called up radio station DZMM and had my lost item/s announced. Called this particular station because I remembered the cab driver listening to Korina Sanchez while I was in his taxi.

Grieving.

Product Endorser! ;p

Product Endorser! ;p
Originally uploaded by micaela.

Last Sunday we had lunch in Tagaytay because it was my cousin Patty's birthday. I didn't bring Lia's yaya along, and Neil and I were left taking care of the little one (who, did I mention, is so kulit these days?).

We had lunch at Josephine's because Patty didn't think about getting reservations at Sonya's. I don't blame her - we went there on impulse, hehehe.

And...since Lia entertained herself in her high chair...here's what she did. Endorsed her Johnson's Isopropyl Alcohol (see picture). Hahahaha!

Thank God for best friends

Last week, no one knew what I was going through.

John insisted we go out last Thursday night.

I was not ready, but tears flowed. I could not help it. I wanted to stop, but it just went on. When I looked up, he was crying with me.

I felt very much comforted.

Back to reality

I'm really back to work! Actually, on my first day, I felt it already -- because I had a hard time leaving Lia in the morning (with her reaching out her arms to me while I said bye-bye), and because I rushed home right after work.

That's the sacrifice I had to make. The first week was hell for Lia and me. When I get home from work she'd scream out of excitement and wiggle out of her yaya's grip to go to me. And then she won't let go of me until she falls asleep. So you can see how difficult it is when I leave home again in the morning.

Nowadays I get by my Lia-sickness by calling home every now and then and talking to Lia (who just says "Ha?" "He!" "Bah!" "Aaah" and "Hehe").

My normal office hours are from 9 to 6. I was horrified when, one day, during week 2, I was asked to attend a meeting at 5:30 in the afternoon. That meant I was going home late. And then, last Friday, I was kept in the office because I was uploading stuff for the Web. My palms were all sweaty because I was agitated already, worrying about Lia.

I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. And I hope Lia understands.

Miracles do happen

A few weeks ago I said I was in my saddest state. I talked to the only one I knew who'd give me guidance and strength.

Not only did He give me those - He even answered my prayers.

A wonderful talk with a loved one

God gave me a sign when I asked for it. That night, I had a beautiful talk with this person. After that talk, things were better between us.

A job that I asked for

Soon after, I was called in for a job interview. A couple of days after, I was offered the job. With my desired salary (and benefits).

Thank You.

I asked for a sign...

Last night I was in my saddest state.

Everything seemed to fall apart. I wanted to call a friend, but didn't have the strength to even get up from the bed and reach for the phone. I was just stationary, lying down beside my daughter, who was also squirming and restless because of her cold.

Finally, when Lia found her sleep, I sat up. There was only one person to talk to.

I prayed. I talked to my Father, and asked for guidance. I asked Him to give me strength. I asked Him the unthinkable: to give me a sign -- and, if I won't receive it, then I will be doing a most drastic thing that would change my life forever.

He gave me a sign. I could not believe it, but He did.

Thank you, Father, for giving me hope.

Job-hunting again

With a full-time yaya, and my moolah slipping out of my hand faster than I can say "Shit!", I guess there are no excuses not to look for a job now. Darn it, Lia is excuse enough not to look for a job, but these days one income-earning body for the whole family (however small) is not enough. Neil and I really need to work.

So: I've been sending resumes here and there for the past two weeks already. While doing freelance writing of course (knowing I won't be getting my checks for these jobs any time soon because it takes them an awfully long time to pay). It's been a busy start-of-the-year for me.

Last Friday I was called for an interview with this company I had no knowledge about. I was like, oh no, shall I fall for a startup again? But then again, these startups, especially when they're very new, have lots of funds. So why not.

I got to their office (this old, dark office building in Ortigas) promptly at 3PM. I was called in at 5:30PM. Grrr.

After the usual Q&A, I was informed about the company's business: they create Web sites for international clients. And my specific role-to-be? A writer -- who will write reviews on...PORN movies! They asked me if I had any problem with it, and I said no as long as it was legal. Plus, they said yes to my asking price.

After the interview I called up John. Of course he told everyone. Everyone thinks I'm a porn movie reviewer now (knowing how chismis is spread) even if I've not been hired yet! Hahaha.

No, I haven't accepted their offer yet...plus I still have to wait for the company's call.

Wish me luck! (Because I realized I could not call on God for this kind of work, hehehe).

26 years ain't too bad...

Spent my 26th birthday last Thursday with family and close friends -- and, unlike my 22nd (where I thought of nothing but fun), or my 24th (quarter-life crisis looming), my 26th was a simple, genuine-happy one.

Thanks to everyone who didn't forget! And to those who thought of me but didn't have enough call credits to text or call (hehehe, you know who you are).

=)

Letting off steam before I go to sleep...

A long sigggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh....

First thing that pissed me off this afternoon: my lost SIM card. It was the SIM that I've been using for work. And I definitely could not afford to lose it because there was important data in there.

My atribidang yaya, who'd use my other unit (which I was using for this work SIM) for her SMS and calls, misplaced my SIM. I couldn't help but remind her (seethingly) that MY card was supposed to be the permanent one on that unit. I've already allowed her to use her SIM when she needs to call or text, and already told her she can have the unit on the 15th of the month (when my contract ends and I don't need the unit anymore)...but no. Apparently she's been using it already.

If only she weren't a patient and knowledgeable nanny....

Grrrrrr!!!

It's really so hard to get good help nowadays.

Next...I was reminded again of the yabang people I knew. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but think -- this is what they probably do all day. Brag. Brag until they lose substance. Ang pangit. I find it so selfish.

I was comforted with the thought of my friend June. She's one of the humblest people I know. She comes from a rich family, but when she speaks there's not a trace of yabang. When she first saw the apartment we were living in, I was surprised at her comment. We used to live in an apartment like this, she exclaimed. Her eyes shone, delighting in every detail of the place. She was the only person who didn't mind that we were still renting (and not yet buying a permanent home, unlike other people -- "bakit pa kayo nagre-rent? di nyo pa kaya...?").

You know when you've planned something, and canceled every other thing already, prepared for that thing, woke up early even if you've just slept two hours...and then the person you planned it with cancels? Major Major piss-off.

Ookay...enough of this ranting. Will. relax. now.

Start of the year survey

I did this last year...and here I am at it again!

1. What did you do in 2004 that you've never done before?

Give birth.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No. No.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Rex. His wife, I mean.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Thank God.

5. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?

A really really good (high-paying) job

6. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

June 26. It was the day I gave birth to Lia. I was in labor for 8 hours.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Giving birth!

8. What was your biggest failure?

Not resigning from the company asap. Had I known that they wouldn't pay my wages....

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Is nausea and vomiting considered illness?

10. What was the best thing you bought?

For myself? Nothing! I was too poor...

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Cam's. A renewed Christian!

12. Whose behavior made you apalled and depressed?

No one's

13. Where did most of your money go?

Checkups to the OB, medicines for the pregnant me, ultrasounds

14. What did you get really really really excited about?

At one point, my giving birth. I was already impatient and wanted to see my baby already

15. What song/album will always remind you of 2004?

I don't remember anymore! The anesthesia got to my memory cells already!

16. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

I'm happier now

17. Thinner or fatter?

Hmm, thinner because I'm not pregnant anymore!

18. Richer or poorer?

Poorer

19. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Go out

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Complain

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?

No

22. What was your favorite TV program?

The Simpsons

23. Do you hate anyone now, that you didn't hate the same time last year?

Oh yeah. And I hate that I hate.

24. What was the best book you read?

Da Vinci Code!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Re-discovery...Bond

26. What did you want and get?

Childbirth at the hospital of my choice

27. What did you want and not get?

This really good job...I was already at my final interview when I was asked if I was pregnant. WHen I told them I was, they turned me down.

28. What was your favorite film of the year?

Hmmm. Big Fish

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I had dinner at Bubba Gump with Neil, John, Patty, Leah, and Maiete. I was too nauseated and lazy to party. I turned 25.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurable satisfying?

Had I landed the job I really wanted.

31. Who did you miss?

Cam

32. Who was the best new person you met?

Hmmm. Re-met. Sheila, my sister-in-law. I got to know her better.

33. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004?

Do not EVER fight about finances with your life partner.