Blast from the past

In last week's two-part season 5 premiere, Grey's Anatomy had me sifting through my brain, trying to remember where I saw that guest star (who showed brilliant acting, by the way). All throughout the show, whenever she appeared, something clicked in my brain.

This morning, I had a discussion with my coworker about the episodes. He mentioned how spectacular the guest stars were, and then, he said he even googled their names. I got interested, I asked him to google it again. There it was: Bernadette Peters! And it all came back to me.

Bernadette Peters was in the 1982 movie Annie. She was Miss Hannigan's brother's girlfriend/lover, who sang and danced "Easy Street". As a child, I remember hating her character, because she stole Miss Hannigan's pearls (however "bad" Miss Hannigan was, it was still stealing). As a mom, while Lia watched the movie over and over again (with me), I learned to love her character. I think it was that blank expression she had, while singing, that made me feel there's something more to her. Hahaha!

I also have mp3s of Bernadette Peters in Broadway's Song and Dance. Yes, it's all coming back to me now! :D

Anyway. Just wanted to share. If you're a Grey's fan, watch the episode now (if you haven't watched it yet)! :)

My best friend's homecoming

Hazel recently came home, after eight long years! (She's been living in the US.) It was a sudden thing. One Thursday she just texted me, saying she'll be home that Sunday. Of course, I immediately filed my leave from the office, and carefully planned the next week so that I can spend time with her.

When she finally arrived here, I called her up. I was just so happy to hear her voice--and happier to feel and know that she was just so near (i.e., in Manila). And when she asked me, "lutuan mo ako, ha!,", I could not have been happier to hear that, her usual hirit. That's how I missed my best friend so much!

So. She went to our apartment to have lunch there, and to also see her inaanak Lia and baby Kaitlin. When we saw each other, we didn't hesitate at all! We were both so happy with our small reunion. When she saw Kaitlin, she immediately warmed up to her. And here's another thing: when Lia, who came home from school, saw her, Lia warmed up to her immediately! It was instant connection, I tell you.

The next day, we saw Ruth. We had dinner at Nanbantei, Greenbelt. Caught up with each other. Argued a little about religion and faith. Reminisced on Hazel's bloopers (which was a lot, hahaha). Revealed the secrets we would have told each other had we been together for the last eight years. Missed our other best friend, Tiffany.

Hazel had to leave three days after our last meet. I wish we could have spent more time, but then, as I also wished before we parted ways--the next time we'll see each other, we'll all be in another place and it will be a bigger reunion, and we'll all be there.

Sex and the City

Couldn't I have come up with a better title for this entry? Maybe. But it's just that--it's a Sex and the City entry/laud/testimonial (however late, sorry!).


Before the movie opened, I was a bit apprehensive. I couldn't decide whether to watch it or not. Would it give justice to the series that I loved so much? Would it give me the ending that I was hoping for?


The movie opened, and I decided, okay, I was gonna watch SATC the movie. I thought, I want to watch the movie on a time slot that wouldn't involve me standing in a long line for tickets, or grunting at noisy or distracting audience. I thought, why not watch when the cinemas open before lunch? Crazy, but yes, I was considering that.


And then I realized: why am I planning this alone? That was when it dawned on me: my SATC-fan friends were not with me. Ginny actually texted me a week before the opening that she couldn't come to Manila for the opening. Melvin was in Singapore. Camille was in the UK. John was...with Ryan.


Neil kindly volunteered to take me to the SATC show. He wasn't a fan and he didn't really watch the show, but because I loved it so much, he went with me. The downside of it was (no offense, Hun), I didn't have someone to gush with me with the flashing labels, or say "aaawwww" with me on Carrie's "moments". And then, five hours after, I got a text message from Cam about the movie, saying that it was the perfect ending to our favorite show, and that she missed me. I missed her! A few weeks after, John and I also exchanged text messages on the movie (and even related the characters to ourselves, hahaha!).


Indeed, I liked the movie, even if some didn't. I liked that Samantha ended up ending her exclusive relationship with Smith, or Charlotte getting pregnant (yes, miracles do happen), Miranda getting a divorce then getting back with Steve (it was soo Miranda anyway), and Carrie, ending up with Big.


I ended up watching (again) the last two seasons of the show, just to refresh me. And I realized, that even though I liked Aidan so much for Carrie, I would've really chosen (or married) Big over any other guy.


Sigh. I so love the SATC show (series and movie)!


P.S. Oh, one thing I just noticed while doing my reruns: Carrie kept using "...I couldn't help but wonder..." before typing in her "big" SATC question. Couldn't they have done other variations of that? ;p

Desperate for some me time!

My life has been a whirl since I last blogged here! Lemme see...last April I was a regular at the City Hall (kept going there, checking if Kaitlin's transmittal for her NSO-certified birth certificate was already available); last May I arranged Kaitlin's baptism and enrolled Lia in preschool. In between those months I was busy paying attention to the kids and the household, and paying the bills (Yup! I swear, I think that was the most constant thing I did. Aaaarrrggghhh.).


And now, it's June! Last Friday, I realized I've been stressed out too much. I desperately needed something for myself. Time? Clothes? Shoes? But no! I thought: Avenue Q! I needed something gay!!!


So I went to Ticketworld to buy myself (and my cousin) some tickets. I couldn't rely on Neil wanting to go, of course. Hahaha.


It's really true what they say. When you have kids, you barely have time for yourself! Well, I know I can make time for myself, but sometimes I just won't allow it (kids first, of course). So...am so looking forward to Avenue Q-ing. :)


Desperate for some me time? Gay time is me time! :)

Post-partum blues (not)


I have just given birth last month. A month before that, my father died. A week before his death, I was busy preparing for what could be the biggest step in our lives.


That was how my year started: with lots of stress. Someone commented on how bravely I was going through all these: "how can you handle these things?".


It wasn't as if I just breezed through them. Fresh from the Christmas rush (I was very pregnant and had to do the shopping for everyone), I had to do another very important thing in January that needed my full energy, lots of money (that meant bulk of our life savings), and my full concentration. Neil and I worked through the final step in one whole day, with me taking a leave from work to accomplish it.


We finished it on my father's birthday, January 22. Six days after, he passed away.


A month after, February 22, I gave birth to Kaitlin Ava. Underwent caesarian section.


Three "stressors" in just one quarter. "I could have died from stress," someone said to me.


I did submit myself to stress. Grief. Despair.


I stressed over our first task. But I chose to make tress a good thing because we finished it complete, and on our target date.


I grieved over my father's death. But I did not wallow in it, because I had already long forgiven him, and had no regrets with our relationship. We had exchanged text messages a week before he died, and it was a peaceful exchange. I dreamed about him, twice, and it wasn't grim at all. My heart wasn't heavy.


I underwent a painful surgery to bring forth Kaitlin Ava. But I recovered quickly, and stayed in the hospital for just about two days. I fought to purely
breastfeed her, ignoring others' comments that I should give her formula milk because she seemed "not to get enough milk" because of her constant feeding at my breast. I read and read about breastfeeding, and I alone encouraged myself. I know Kaitlin gets the milk that she needs. We're on our sixth week now and she's still purely breastfed.


I woke up today and wondered how I fought all these. And then I chanced upon Exie's blog and read about "The miracle of melancholia" by Eric Wilson (published on
the Los Angeles Times): "We need sorrow, constant and robust, to make us human, alive, sensitive to the sweet rhythms of growth and decay, death and life". I have
not been aware of sorrow's "benefits" until I have read this piece. And there's a mention of Joni Mitchell's take on gloom: she sees her sorrow as the "sand that
makes the pearl". Very well said, indeed.

Fedex SUCKS!

They do--big time.


Last week, Neil sent a package to his sister Sheila in the UK. It contained a Treo 680 and an iPod Touch 16GB--both units with their original boxes, accessories, manuals. Neil spent almost an hour at the Fedex branch to fill up the forms and monitor the packaging (the Fedex people were the ones who put the units in bubble wrap and they also created a customized box). He scrutinized every detail.


Two days after, Sheila sent a text message that she just got the package, and that she'll check it "later" because she was still at work. Neil and I marveled at how fast and efficient Fedex was.


Three minutes after we received Sheila's first text message, we got another one: the package was tampered, bubble wrap was a mess, and there were no units. What was in the package? Just the box of the Treo 680 and its manual and CD.


At first I thought it was a joke. We called her up, and indeed, there was no iPod Touch nor Treo 680 inside the package! According to Sheila, there was a hole at the bottom of the box, which was promptly covered by a Fedex sticker.


We immediately called Fedex's Customer Care number and reported the incident. The CC rep informed us that we can either claim the declared value that Neil put on the form, or request for them to look for the units.


We called up Neil's sister again to discuss the matter. We further found out that:

1. Sheila was not the one who "received" the package. Someone else did, and just handed the package to her after. Per Fedex policy, the package must be delivered to the recipient, and in case the recipient is not available, there should be an authorization letter from the recipient. Sheila did not authorize anyone to receive the package, but Fedex did not ask for the authorization letter, nor for Sheila, who was in the area anyway.
   
2. Upon confirmation with the Customer Care Rep, the declared value that was in their database was just half of the value which was on the form that Neil filled out! (Neil had to then scan and email the form which showed the full value.)
   

We decided that we will just claim the cost, because looking for the units seemed like a lost cause. Fedex said they will investigate, but they could not tell us their timelines nor assure us that we will indeed get our claim.


We never thought a thing like this could happen--with Fedex at that! :( Unbelievable. We've sent other packages to UK before, via our local post office, and they arrived intact!


So guys--extra caution and discretion when sending packages.


And wish us luck that we'll be able to get back what we've lost! :(

Want tickets to the Maroon 5 concert?

PULSE.Ph is giving away tickets to the Maroon 5 concert, happening this March 5, at the Araneta Coliseum! Here's how you can get the tickets for free:

1. Check out www.pulse.ph. If you're a member, sign in. If you're not a member, register (it's so easy!!!).
   
2. Click on the link for the Maroon 5 promo.
   
3. Upload your video of your best interpretation of any Maroon 5 song! It doesn't matter how you took it--via your mobile phone camera, digicam, webcam, etc.
   
4. Deadline of entries is on March 2. PULSE.Ph shall announce winners on March 3.
   
   

Tell your friends about it! :)

Second-time mom

Gave birth to Kaitlin Ava last February 22! Lia has a baby sister now, and Neil and I are proud second-time parents! :) (See my other blog, Mommy Matters, for the complete account of Kaitlin's childbirth! :) )

Across the Universe

We used to sing this, him and I. We'd alternate on the guitar. He'd go second voice on me, and I'd get lost. Jai guru deva om. Nothing's gonna change my world.

It was a comfort song. For me, it meant we could stay on and on like this forever. It was a moment, but for me it meant a lifetime. Nothing's gonna change my world. It was a moment, and I clung to it like anything. It was a moment, that at the back of my mind I knew would last soon because I only had my father for a few minutes or hours, but I stubbornly believed it was forever.

That is my fondest memory of my father. It was my fondest memory even when he was alive, because I could only have him for a few moments. It is my fondest memory of him now that he's passed away.

Yesterday, he died. The strange thing was, I dreamed about him yesterday morning. In my dream, he had his top off, and he was drunk. (I've never seen him drunk before!) He went to my (current) home, and demanded for the refrigerator. Refrigerator?! How stupid was that? In my dream, I told him off for coming drunk, and told him to leave. He left.

I woke up thinking about the dream. I was up for about an hour before I fell back into sleep again. Then last night, my half-brother called me up, saying that Papa had died of a heart attack--that morning.

I said to my half-brother that I'd just send up prayers, because I was sure I wasn't expected to be there (with them). He said okay, that he just wanted to let me know, and that he'll keep in touch.

I felt strange after hearing about Papa's death. I broke down in tears--but I wasn't sure if they were of grief. I couldn't feel that his life was such a loss. I couldn't feel that I missed him. I couldn't feel that I was losing a parent. I didn't know why I was crying. But the thoughts that ran through my mind, while I cried, were good memories of me and him. My chest didn't feel heavy as I wept. There wasn't any bitterness. What could I have been crying about?

I could have been weeping for the moments we spent--my forevers. And as short as those moments--or those forevers--were the moments I wept.

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you planned:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.

-Christina Rossetti

So, Papa, this is really goodbye. But now I know this is a goodbye where I won't have to wait or wonder. And I'm okay with it.

And though I did not get to say this to you, thank you for giving me those moments.

Dazed during the holidays

As usual, we had the tour of South Luzon for the holidays. We started December 23 and headed to Neil's mother's family. Then we went to my tita's at Laguna, where we spent the night, and the next day (24th). I thought I could rest for one day; apparently not. Neil and I spent half the day building Lia's marble mania toy (conclusion: they were lying when they indicated that the toy was for kids--it was so hard to build!). After lunch, we had to go to the store to get batteries and screw driver for the toy; and had gift tags exchanged (because the driver bought the wrong gift tags, sigh). Before we knew it, it was almost sunset! I had to cook dinner. Then prepare for mass. Then we went to mass. Then it was Noche Buena and gift-giving.

The next day, we went to my other tita's house in Alabang for lunch. That side of the family was complete, because my mom's sister and brother went home from Europe. I felt dazed because of so many people (and kids)! After that, we headed to Neil's relatives in Las Pinas for Christmas dinner. It was there that I felt real fatigue from all the partying and mingling. At 8PM I felt ready to retire, but I just couldn't force Neil to go home because he rarely saw his relatives.

I couldn't get up the next day (26th)! So I spent half the day at home, and went back to work in the afternoon. ;) I could tell that Lia got tired from all the celebrations, too, because when I asked her to come with me to the office, she refused.

New Year's was less stressful. We spent it in Laguna again. I visited Marc and her baby; had dinner, mass, then blew horns and lit our sole firecrackers for New Year.

I wonder how our holidays will be like in 2008 when there are two kids around! :)