Finally...

It's been more than a month since my last update. This is baaaddd.

As you can well guess...so many things have kept me occupied! Number one on the list: been helping my mom with her errands for her Canada trip. She left last Thursday already...but that doesn't mean things are more relaxed now...that's another story.

And then of course my situation with the office...I finally filed a case against them!!! Yay!!! This is the first time I've done this. John, be proud of me! Mweheheh. We'll be having our first hearing on June 17th (and I'm due to give birth on the 21st, ain't that great). Wish me luck.

And since I'm not going to the office on a regular basis, I've been running from SSS to Philhealth, paying my contributions and filing for my benefits. That darn company is making it difficult for me by not remitting my contributions.

And yes, am still running around, interviewing people and researching for my writing work...thanks to good friends Armel and Chiqui for the extra bucks!

And the most important of all...running around shopping for baby stuff. Not going to elaborate here anymore, got my other blog for that...

So now...am hoping I'd be able to update more often!!!

=p

Been a while!!!

A while is too long...

Believe it or not, I'm busier now that I'm unemployed! Yup, unemployed am I. (Gosh, it means it was that long ago since I wrote here!)

I still don't have the time to write things down now, though...will be back tomorrow instead. ;)

It's a GIRL!

(For those who don't read my mommatters blog)

Yup, everyone guessed right (except the Chinese calendar)! Had ultrasound during the weekend. Spent quite a while in the ultrasound room while the doctor figured out its gender.

So...in a few months we'll be meeting Ysobel. Yup, that's what we're naming her. I wanted to add Alessandra to her name, but the image of that darn jologs actress keeps popping into my mind. Aarrghh. Any ideas for a second name? =)

New blog, if anyone's interested

I've created a new blog: Mommy Matters. Figure it out. ;p

Out with the bad, in with the good ones

After almost a month of whining and worrying, I finally decided: this has got to stop (gosh, wasn't that too long???).

The whining and worrying, I mean. The other circumstances I cannot control, so I am just going to do what I can do.

1. I am 90% resigned that I can't get a job (transfer employment) now that I'm pregnant. Besides, people keep telling me to stop already - the effort of going to interviews and finding out later on that they can't/won't hire me because of the pregnancy is futile. So fuck them already.
   
   
2. Even if I'm not getting paid now, I will still get paid. I will just look forward to that day - and stop fretting over the past two months that I didn't get any moolah.
   
   
3. I will focus instead on my pregnancy, and motherhood. That's my new mantra. I will now keep a new journal for this (hmm, that journal given to me by John two Christmases ago is just perfect - it's themed "new beginnings"!).
   
   
4. I will start writing again.
   
   
5. I will *finally* organize our wedding pictures (yes, June and Bituin, finally). Why did it take me so long? Because now I can laugh about the eventful day. The good thing is, I can do part of it in the office! Yay! (For those who are wondering - we're not doing anything in the office at all. Everyone else is doing their own business. My boss is painting some craft thingy for her son, another team member is printing his own cookbook using the office printer, another is doing a paper for her MBA. Great, huh.)
   
   

See, there's so much good stuff to do?

Wish me luck. =)

Marketing and Me, not MFEO?

Realization. Yesterday, after a long time of wondering what I can do in this field (and vise versa), I suddenly realized: maybe I'm not made for this after all.

Maybe it's the circumstances. Because I'm so disappointed with my current job, not learning anything significant at all about marketing and its principles as I'd expected I would. And then what with the company ready to close down, what can I expect to learn here?

Maybe it's about hearing the truth. When the CEO of the company I used to work for interviewed me again for a marketing position, he had mentioned something that made me reconsider the (career) path I'm taking now. He had thought that I was cut out to be a writer, and that I was serious and passionate about my craft - and now was wondering why I was into marketing.

Maybe it's the circumstances (again). Friends are offering me writing jobs left and right - as if they never realized that for the last three months I had decided to try marketing. It was as if nothing had changed.

Maybe it's the disposition. The silent, reserved person working away on my PC, bringing to life words that were meant to live.

Maybe it's not marketing.

When it rains, it pours

I hate to have to vent this out in my blog, but what the hell.

Three things:

• The company closing down
  
• The company not paying its employees (and no definite date when - or if they will be able to after it closes down!)
  
• No companies hiring pregnant women
  
  

I need a miracle.

In the meantime, I'd just go on cross-stitching this cute little birth announcement thingy for my baby. Yup, that's what I'm doing AT WORK. Ain't it cool? Nothing to do anyways.

Absenteeism

...is one indication that an employee is not happy anymore with the company.

I didn't go to work today. I'm happy.

Neil says that if by the end of the week I don't get my pay, I should hand in my resignation letter.

Will I be able to find a job then?

Help me God.

Need: new job ASAP

Still haven't got paycheck. Not doing anything fulfilling at work. No sense of passion for job. Need I say more?

Although I already have prospects for my next possible employment, there's still the bulging issue - my pregnancy. Who would hire a pregnant woman? Of course, am hoping they would. Praying really hard.

So please say a little prayer for me too.

Quarter-life

Yup! 25 it is.

I spent my birthday with this feeling of - I can't place it properly - sublimity. I guess it had something to do with preparing for motherhood, while still trying to be career-oriented...at 25. I know I shouldn't burden myself with these issues now...so am trying...

Anyway, I spent a quiet day at home with Neil (had him file a 'birthday-of-wife' leave from the office, hehehe). Then we had dinner with very close friends - only a few of them. I guess I didn't feel like celebrating with a blast this year - mostly because I get tired too easily and might not enjoy a rowdy night.

Birthday wish? A normal and healthy baby. Yup, as one friend put it - Olats ka na. Sa baby mo na lahat. Hehehe.

Oh, and before I end this post - many thanks to the people who did not forget. =)

Late post-holiday post (whatever)

As soon as 2003 ended I started to think what to write in my blog. I had a million thoughts in my head - but I had to fall ill. Damnit. I was sick after Christmas and right through New Year's Eve and a few days after that. Disabled. Couldn't even sit up long enough to type.

Thanks to April she had this list of questions on her blog...and I thought, why not? Makes things easier for me, too. ;p

Here they are:

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

Went to a gay bar. Got married. (Wait. That's two totally different occasions!)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Uh, no...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, Ginny.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank God.

5. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?

A child? Hehehe. Am having my first this year.

6. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 31 of course! My wedding day. No dad, no choir, one maid-of-honor less, a borrowed flower girl...sigh. Ask anyone who was present.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finally get hitched...? Hehehe.

8. What was your biggest failure?

Deciding to get out of OHSI.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Gastritis

10. What was the best thing you bought?

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Neil's.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Rex, at one point.

13. Where did most of your money go?

Preps for the wedding: facials, beauty stuff, dinners

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Friends coming home to attend the wedding

15. What song/album will always remind you of 2003?

Norah Jones

16. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?

Sadder. Last year was family reunion year so I was always out.

17. Thinner or Fatter?

Is pregnancy fat?

18. Richer or poorer?

A little richer, but feeling I've lost a lot.

9. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Go out

20. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying

21. Did you fall in love in 2003?

Hmmm, yes, again

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Six Feet Under. Sex and the City came when I was too disabled because of my first trimester, so I didn't get to enjoy it.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, still hate the same old people, heehee

24. What was the best book you read?

Girl With a Pearl Earring

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Maksim

26. What did you want and get?

Confirmations...

27. What did you want and not get?

More time

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

FInding Nemo?

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Spent with whole clan, first time to introduce Neil to the kin. Had fever. Then treated friends to Chilli's. 24 years.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A nicer wedding.

5. Who did you miss?

Hazel, for my wedding.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Uh, John's best friend Dick perhaps?

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:

Patience is really the key.

Found my soul?


You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Holiday frenzy - not

Nine days before christmas - and everyone's running around ticking off their christmas lists.

Not me!

Am disabled, and broke. Eek. Bad combination.

My doctor had one prescription for me: no malling. Imagine that!!! She said I can only go around after the holidays. Wah. It's just that the baby's been moving around a lot (i.e., my tummy's contracting) - that's why I need a lot of rest.

And then - they haven't paid me yet. Yup, delayed salary. That, plus I haven't received my last pay from OHSI yet. Equals one dukha person.

Sigh. This is the poorest I have ever been.

Really, get me out of here, please!

I'm not happy.

I don't know if it's too early to tell, but the co. has so far unimpressed me. Besides doing blah work for a month now, I'm not learning anything. At all.

And it's not as petty as the guard logging my every move, or the deductions from my 10-minute tardiness, or the warnings I get.

It just doesn't work for me.

And Neil won't believe me. Aarrrggghhh!

Pleaasssseee I want out.

I miss my YM days...

The very first thing I did when I entered my new job was to download the Yahoo Messenger program.

Alas - it was in vain. They did not allow chatting in my new office.

I told myself - it's okay; maybe it's time I lessened my online time. I should be okay with sending email to my friends.

It's driving me crazy!

I feel so out touch. I don't know what's going on with the world anymore. And, they don't know what's going on with me.

I've lost my touch with adjectives and expletives. Gone were the days when one single *status message* can stir up five hours of conversation with different people. Now I can't even precisely describe what I'm feeling (or maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, I don't know).

Micaela (Depresaka): Take me away from here!

Bored

Uh-huh. Am bored bored bored.

I don't know if it's just my hormones (yeah I've been miserable lately).

Bored bored bored.

We're pregnant!

Yes we are! =) Sneaky baby, I tell you. Never thought I'd conceive that soon. ;p The little one's five weeks now.

So far it's been the toilet bowl and me who've been sharing my recent mom experiences. Blech. Five to seven times a day, who can beat that?

Aaaaah. I hope this puking galore stops soon. Grow up fast, little one, or mom will have to look like the toilet bowl soon.

;p

A place where the heartache is worth it

Today is my last day of employment with OHSI.

Everyone got together for lunch. Two things: Rey's birthday, and my sendoff (it was sorta weird to read "Happy Birthday, Rey" and "Good luck, Mica" on the same cake, but what the heck, that's how it is there - it's all about sharing).

I was asked to speak. As I was doing so, I began to realize that - there was so much I wanted to thank the people and the organization for. The Web Team had special mention of course - without saying it, they had kept me going. (I almost broke down when my gaze met Liza's but I kept my poise for the sake of more than half the org - now composed of newbies and temps - who would have the last impression of me as strange and emotional.)

And then the president, Doji, spoke. Now that is one person who could say so much in just a short span of time. He traced my stay at OHSI, promptly detailing the significant events in my life as a team member. What was more amazing was that - he remembered what my goals were at that time that I entered the org, thereby ending his speech with the mention of the "legacy" I was leaving OHSI - the org's e-zine that I had EIC'd.

It took me until 930pm to finish arranging my files. I don't know if I was stalling (now I realize that I guess I was).

It pains me so much leaving OHSI. But I guess when something ends, something else begins.

Smelly people

I took Friday afternoon off to go to UP Diliman. I had to go apply for my LOA (again, arrrgggghhhh) and apply for my transcript. I brought along my good friend John.

Because I promised John that one day I'd take him to UP and tour him around, that afternoon was the best time for us to do it. Since he wasn't doing anything (at all), and I was kinda going to go around the campus because of the filing and paying and lining up, I figured it was best he went around campus that way - with a lot of walking, climbing stairs, waiting on steps, riding the ikot.

First stop was at Vidal Tan Hall, where the UP Open University office was located. John was thirsty, so I led him to the canteen, which - was not there anymore. I remembered there was a manang selling soft drinks at the back of the Faculty Center, so I led him there. Whaaat? he screeched (well not really, but he almost did). I'm going to drink there?

I would have loved to tease him and said yes, you're going to sit there along with the tambays. But I took pity on his pretty albeit sweaty face, so we just bought a bottle of Mountain Dew and walked back to the NISMED area, where he sat down the steps and decided to wait for me there while I run upstairs.

Next, we walked to the OUR. It was a looonnngg walk, since the OUR has been transferred to a far far faraway place. I had him sit down to rest while the Cashier screamed at me for being frikkin' late.

I then thought it was a good idea to take him to Crowded House. Off we went, towards the back of Vinzon's Hall. Ooops. Crowded House was - closed.

Instead, there were people there - lots of them. Some unloading from jeepneys and buses, some setting up a stage, others just sitting down. What is this? John asks. Sssssh, I motioned, as I led him away. What? he asks. And we had barely passed by every one of them when he commented, there's a certain smell here...

I tensed up. I took quicker steps and he followed. Don't say that! I warned him. We might end up bloody and barely alive!

What, what? he asked again. Sigh.

We just walked into a large group of rallyists preparing for the Bush arrival the next day. And my good friend had just called them smelly people. I could only shake my head.

We dropped by Balay Kalinaw, where the UP Press bookstore was located. John bought around P500 worth of books. I had nothing to do with it.

We planned to have dinner at Chocolate Kiss with Abi, Liza, and V - but before we did, we passed by the Shopping Center. John bought a pair of Mojos. Again, I had nothing to do with it.

Finally, dinner. We stuffed ourselves full. (By the way, thanks Liza for the dessert!!!)

Sigh. What a fine day that was.

At the end of the day, John and I were the smelly people from all the walking and sweating.

Moving on

Yesterday I gave my resignation letter to my boss.

I never heard the end of it from Leah and Miguel, as they tortured me the whole day, hoping I'd change my mind - or die from guilt.

It was not an easy decision.

Shifting to a (majorly) different path was one thing; leaving the company (most importantly, the people I became good friends with) was another.

Yes, it took me a painfully long time to finally find it in my heart to "abandon" (although not entirely) my craft, and turn to Marketing (my newfound competence, so to speak). It wasn't after much convincing by some of my friends that I could always write anytime that I stopped worrying about it.

And then there are the people I've grown to love. Three years of friendship and loyalty and support; triumphs and failures; laughter and tears (however personal or work-related) - this is something I can never exchange. And then I realized - this doesn't have to end. We can always continue to share these friendships even when we've all moved on.

On November 11, I'll be starting my new job. I'll be putting on a different face (Marketing and business attire - gasp!).

I just hope I like (and eventually, will love) what I'll be doing.

Wish me luck.