Unbecoming

I figured it out. I've just been so out of it the past weeks. Everything felt like 'blah'. Sure, I had Lia to cheer me up when I got home from work, but when I go to sleep, there's something different, even strange, that I feel.

I lost it. I lost my sense of kakikayan! OMG. Whatever happened to "beauty above all"? It's lost, lost, lost, I tell you!

I realized it when I found myself thinking about that item I've been eyeing at the mall. A four-burner plus two-rack Elba oven. Not that Body Shop liquid foundation, nor the L'oreal juicy tubes I've always-wanted-to-buy-but-now-it's-pushed-to-the-back-of-my-mind. No.

And when I did realize that indeed, my habits, priorities, and wants have changed, I panicked. I looked at myself in the mirror - in horror. Dark rings under my eyes. More pronounced pores (God, I need that facial ASAP). Long unkempt hair. And my fat bulging tummy that's mostly-post-pregnancy-but-never-did-anything-about-it-so-now-it's-bulging-more-than-ever.

So unbecoming!

I hate myself.

But I thought, I have to do something. It's just not me. It's like I lost a part of myself. Of my soul.

Therefore: I asked help from Mudra - Armel. I asked for a makeover.

God help me!