Contravidas

There is always one in every situation/event - at least in this life.

I can't help but think that maybe that's their purpose in life. Maybe it's because I can't think of any situation that I'm in their shoes. I was never a contravida!

What's the point of this entry?

Well, another contravida has taken her post...and I don't quite know how to handle her yet. Every time she argues about the project details, I just smile and nod. I'm sorry to say - I was getting good at the smile-and-nod-reply that I suspect she's noticing my glazed look and fixed smile...

Sigh...I guess I'd have to deal with her until the project ends....

Where have you all gone?

Why is it, that when you get married, all (well, almost) your single friends seem difficult to find? There was even one friend of mine, a month right after the wedding - after forever texting her, finally told me she hadn't texted me back because I was "married". What the--? She thought she was in the way of my married life, or something like that.

And then, I give birth...and all of them disappear! Exaggerating, I know. But it seems like! Someone told me she didn't want to "disturb" my maternal duties. Telephone calls in a rush. Text messages cut to just one exchange. John, who seemed like he wouldn't give up on me, started to (didn't call me for that Bond concert...in fairness, was apologetic when I told him I wanted to go and would even give up his seat for my lone one).

Please. Where did you all get the stupid idea that because I have a family now, I can't be talked to!? I know I have to schedule my appointments (unlike my past impromptu trips), but I will go.

I know I am a wife and a mother now. But I am, still, the Mica that you know.

Therapy

I didn't realize freelancing was stressful! Or maybe it's because I'm still getting used to the schedule (which I manage....with difficulty...hehe)...or maybe I just accepted too many jobs at once...

Anyway, yesterday I was up to my chin with my deadlines. At around 4pm I finally finished most of my major work. So I got up, packed away my faithful Vaio, and declared we were going out.

I dressed up my daughter Lia (who couldn't contain her excitement), packed her stuff, folded up her stroller, and we were off to Glorietta.

Natural high! Shopping, I mean. First stop was the baby department, of course. Since I forgot to put on Lia's shoes, I bought her a cheap but dainty pair right there. After buying her necessities, I shopped for Christmas tree trimmings.

I didn't get to complete my list, though, because we had to see Neil already. Nevertheless, It was great therapy for my tired soul.

I'm standing!!!

I'm standing!!!
Originally uploaded by micaela.

Here I stand

This is my four-month-old daughter Lia. She's learning how to straighten and stretch her legs, so she can stand.

It must feel good to be able to do that.

I'm still struggling myself.

Errand-girl

What is it with mothers/wives and errands? Do they really go together?

I'm starting to believe so!

Seems like every week I have an errand to run: bills payment, grocery shopping, hardware shopping (yup, there's always a faucet leaking or a furniture that lost some of its parts or screws), husbands-errands-which-are-now-mine, short (and repetitive) trips to the baby department to buy one or two of Lia's needs.

And yesterday I had no plans of buying anything at all...Just wanted to go to the mall because I had free time (thanks to my mother who volunteered to take care of Lia)...And then I come home with two heavy bags of groceries, plus a large bag of Lia's assorted hairthings (clips) and a pretty little white dress.

I love errands, though...beats the housewife-blues.

My best friend is engaged!!!

Yessss she is!!!! I'm really sorry to announce this in my blog, I know you don't want to announce it yet...but your family doesn't read this blog anyway so what the hell....

Congratulations, Tiffany! And Tadgh, of course!!! Hmm, I should have known Tadgh's surprise visit to the P.I. last summer meant something...to even set foot on this cursed land with the summer heat...sigh...who would have thought it was pure l-o-v-e (with matching batting eyelashes)...

Anyway, Tiff called me up the other day to tell me the good news. The news wasn't that surprising...what surprised me was the way she sounded! My god, Tiff sounded like she was really in love! I know, because she usually isn't that happy-perky, and she was always trying hard to keep her voice in a monotone. But no! Little Miss Frigid is now Little Miss Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy. Hahaha!

Get this: she couldn't even remember how Tadgh proposed! She just remembers seeing the box, opening it, and saying yes. Hahaha!

And, she's proudly wearing it! Tiff wasn't the type who'd wear jewelry. Now she has a platinum, princess-cut diamond (from the way she described it I figured it was), Calvin Klein engagement ring.

Are we all going to Ireland for your wedding? ;p

Is freelancing good for me?

So far I have not been successful with my job applications. =( It's either I'm not marketable anymore, or it's the Philippine economy that's causing it. I'd like to believe it's the latter's fault!

So. I've been taking freelance work from good friends. Working here at home while taking care of the little girl.

So far...it's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm back to my college days -- cramming.

Let's see how far I can go. Wish me luck!!!

Writer's Block!

I've spent almost the whole day in front of the PC and what do I write -- a measly sentence! And I was supposed to write a whole newsletter!!!

Grrrrrrr.

And then the Internet connection fails because someone picked up the phone. Does that really happen? Disconnection when the phone is picked up? I hate it!!!

I'm in a bad mood.

Is this a monthly thing already???

Sadly, I think it is! Waah. Logging on is such a luxury for me now that I'm a full-time mom! You should see me rushing to turn on my laptop and go online once my little one is asleep. I literally dizzy myself doing so many things at once!

Career status: do I even have one?

I've been trying to find a job since I gave birth. I'm wishing I don't have to, though, but times are hard, and these days we really need moolah to get by. I really don't want to leave Lia with a yaya while I go to work. It's not just because I don't want to miss out on her developments; it's also so difficult to find a good yaya, let alone trust her to take really good care of my baby.

So: I've been accepting freelance work from good friends. I'm now thinking that freelancing might be good for me (and Lia), since I'll be working at home while taking care of her! I was computing my income as a freelancer...and given that these jobs pay me on time, I'll survive.

Missing out on a lot?

Not really. It's more like missing the persons I used to go out with, talk to on the phone, exchange life stories with. Someone asked me if I missed going out anytime I wanted to, or going on an impulsive out-of-town trip...I do, honestly, but at the same time it doesn't upset me or put me in a depression when I'm thinking about it. Isn't it unbelievable? Mwehehe.

Family person...am I?

Up until now most of my friends are still in disbelief that I'm married, and have a kid. I still can't imagine, they'd say. Para kang trumpo na biglang huminto, they'd say, of my settling down and having a family.

Is it really unlike me?

Maybe...but I'm trying my best.

I had a chat with a friend a couple of days ago, and she gave me shocking news about her and her husband separating. Separated. Just recently. It was really a shock for me. I thought it would never happen to them. They were a couple who lived a simple life (from how I've known them), led a life with God. And they had a wonderful kid who was very well-balanced. Plus, they had a great sex life (I think they did, from the stories my friend would tell me). And now they're living apart.

It made me so sad, that night I asked Neil what would happen to our family if we separated. Of course, as usual, he brushed it off and said it would never happen.

I'm praying it won't. Praying for my friend and her family. Praying for families to stay together.

Blog on...I don't know when!

Sigh...

Back in the game...?

Hmm...almost two months of not blogging!!!! So what happened there???

First, and most important recent event in my life - gave birth to Lia Ysobel (check out Mommy Matters for details). =)

Second...well there's really no seconds...it's just all motherhood for me. =)

Now, am back to jobhunting.

Have to go check those job sites now. Be back soon!!!

Finally...

It's been more than a month since my last update. This is baaaddd.

As you can well guess...so many things have kept me occupied! Number one on the list: been helping my mom with her errands for her Canada trip. She left last Thursday already...but that doesn't mean things are more relaxed now...that's another story.

And then of course my situation with the office...I finally filed a case against them!!! Yay!!! This is the first time I've done this. John, be proud of me! Mweheheh. We'll be having our first hearing on June 17th (and I'm due to give birth on the 21st, ain't that great). Wish me luck.

And since I'm not going to the office on a regular basis, I've been running from SSS to Philhealth, paying my contributions and filing for my benefits. That darn company is making it difficult for me by not remitting my contributions.

And yes, am still running around, interviewing people and researching for my writing work...thanks to good friends Armel and Chiqui for the extra bucks!

And the most important of all...running around shopping for baby stuff. Not going to elaborate here anymore, got my other blog for that...

So now...am hoping I'd be able to update more often!!!

=p

Been a while!!!

A while is too long...

Believe it or not, I'm busier now that I'm unemployed! Yup, unemployed am I. (Gosh, it means it was that long ago since I wrote here!)

I still don't have the time to write things down now, though...will be back tomorrow instead. ;)

It's a GIRL!

(For those who don't read my mommatters blog)

Yup, everyone guessed right (except the Chinese calendar)! Had ultrasound during the weekend. Spent quite a while in the ultrasound room while the doctor figured out its gender.

So...in a few months we'll be meeting Ysobel. Yup, that's what we're naming her. I wanted to add Alessandra to her name, but the image of that darn jologs actress keeps popping into my mind. Aarrghh. Any ideas for a second name? =)

New blog, if anyone's interested

I've created a new blog: Mommy Matters. Figure it out. ;p

Out with the bad, in with the good ones

After almost a month of whining and worrying, I finally decided: this has got to stop (gosh, wasn't that too long???).

The whining and worrying, I mean. The other circumstances I cannot control, so I am just going to do what I can do.

1. I am 90% resigned that I can't get a job (transfer employment) now that I'm pregnant. Besides, people keep telling me to stop already - the effort of going to interviews and finding out later on that they can't/won't hire me because of the pregnancy is futile. So fuck them already.
   
   
2. Even if I'm not getting paid now, I will still get paid. I will just look forward to that day - and stop fretting over the past two months that I didn't get any moolah.
   
   
3. I will focus instead on my pregnancy, and motherhood. That's my new mantra. I will now keep a new journal for this (hmm, that journal given to me by John two Christmases ago is just perfect - it's themed "new beginnings"!).
   
   
4. I will start writing again.
   
   
5. I will *finally* organize our wedding pictures (yes, June and Bituin, finally). Why did it take me so long? Because now I can laugh about the eventful day. The good thing is, I can do part of it in the office! Yay! (For those who are wondering - we're not doing anything in the office at all. Everyone else is doing their own business. My boss is painting some craft thingy for her son, another team member is printing his own cookbook using the office printer, another is doing a paper for her MBA. Great, huh.)
   
   

See, there's so much good stuff to do?

Wish me luck. =)

Marketing and Me, not MFEO?

Realization. Yesterday, after a long time of wondering what I can do in this field (and vise versa), I suddenly realized: maybe I'm not made for this after all.

Maybe it's the circumstances. Because I'm so disappointed with my current job, not learning anything significant at all about marketing and its principles as I'd expected I would. And then what with the company ready to close down, what can I expect to learn here?

Maybe it's about hearing the truth. When the CEO of the company I used to work for interviewed me again for a marketing position, he had mentioned something that made me reconsider the (career) path I'm taking now. He had thought that I was cut out to be a writer, and that I was serious and passionate about my craft - and now was wondering why I was into marketing.

Maybe it's the circumstances (again). Friends are offering me writing jobs left and right - as if they never realized that for the last three months I had decided to try marketing. It was as if nothing had changed.

Maybe it's the disposition. The silent, reserved person working away on my PC, bringing to life words that were meant to live.

Maybe it's not marketing.

When it rains, it pours

I hate to have to vent this out in my blog, but what the hell.

Three things:

• The company closing down
  
• The company not paying its employees (and no definite date when - or if they will be able to after it closes down!)
  
• No companies hiring pregnant women
  
  

I need a miracle.

In the meantime, I'd just go on cross-stitching this cute little birth announcement thingy for my baby. Yup, that's what I'm doing AT WORK. Ain't it cool? Nothing to do anyways.

Absenteeism

...is one indication that an employee is not happy anymore with the company.

I didn't go to work today. I'm happy.

Neil says that if by the end of the week I don't get my pay, I should hand in my resignation letter.

Will I be able to find a job then?

Help me God.

Need: new job ASAP

Still haven't got paycheck. Not doing anything fulfilling at work. No sense of passion for job. Need I say more?

Although I already have prospects for my next possible employment, there's still the bulging issue - my pregnancy. Who would hire a pregnant woman? Of course, am hoping they would. Praying really hard.

So please say a little prayer for me too.

Quarter-life

Yup! 25 it is.

I spent my birthday with this feeling of - I can't place it properly - sublimity. I guess it had something to do with preparing for motherhood, while still trying to be career-oriented...at 25. I know I shouldn't burden myself with these issues now...so am trying...

Anyway, I spent a quiet day at home with Neil (had him file a 'birthday-of-wife' leave from the office, hehehe). Then we had dinner with very close friends - only a few of them. I guess I didn't feel like celebrating with a blast this year - mostly because I get tired too easily and might not enjoy a rowdy night.

Birthday wish? A normal and healthy baby. Yup, as one friend put it - Olats ka na. Sa baby mo na lahat. Hehehe.

Oh, and before I end this post - many thanks to the people who did not forget. =)