New bargain finds!

Four years ago I discovered Divisoria--not Tutuban but the real Divisoria with the pasilios and the busy streets and sidewalks and the large pedicabs and the constant whiff of wet market+mud+rainwater+a little bit of garbage.

I shopped there for my wedding stuff--the textile, beads, candles, ribbons, accessories. I also shop there every last week of November/early December for Christmas gifts and wrappings. On some months of the year I go there to shop for cheaper stuff (i.e., stuff I could have bought at the department store but did not because of the fact that I can buy it cheaper in Divi). On some weekends I go to the Divisoria market to buy our seafood and vegetables (and ox tail and ox tripe for kare-kare, with ground peanuts so I don't have to use Mama Sita's!). For Lia's birthday stuff, I also went to Divisoria. At times, I drop by nearby Ongpin St. in Binondo to buy hopia. I also take some occasional stroll down the jewelers strip (I actually bought two pairs of earrings for Lia there).

Last week, though, I went with my mother to Quiapo. We bought Excellente ham, of course, and hopia. But what made my day was this shop in Villalobos St.--Wellmanson. They had a store in Divisoria but this one in Quiapo is just--heaven for beadmakers! They had walls and walls of stringed beads and stones and strings and accessories (and they were all so organized, my O-C self couldn't help but appreciate). I bought some P800 worth, and when I got home, I was able to string up about 11 necklaces of different designs (which Mama will bring to the US as gifts to her amigas). I just couldn't get enough of them, so I returned to Quiapo yesterday (in the guise of buying seafood and meat and vegetables in the market). I bought P1300 worth (and I feel so guilty having bought that much) and I still haven't finished with stringing everything.

I'm so the bargain-hunter these days! Is this what happens when you're a wife and a mom?

:)

Where do I go from here?

Okay. I admit: when I chose my course in college I did not exactly think about what I would end up to be. I did not even think about how much I will be earning. It was just--it was what I wanted.

When I got out of college I found a job where I got to apply what I learned: I wrote, I edited. I was happy that I did find such a job. But then of course I wanted to learn more, grow more with my career, so I tried out writing for the Web. I spent three years doing this, and so far, it was the best three learning years of my life.

After writing/editing for the Web, I tried a little of marketing communications. Which I did not learn much, and I did not enjoy much (well, maybe because the company closed down and I was not given enough opportunity).

And then I was hired as a Web editor. I was thrilled! However, my first two months were spent--just researching, researching, and writing down my ideas for the Web site I was going to manage. And then when relaunch time came, there was much work for the programmers; they weren't able to completely achieve the requirements for a long, long time. So, the Web was on hold for a while.

While I wasn't doing any Web work, I "moonlighted" with the Content Team...helping write content and reviewing theirs. I eventually got more involved with this team than the Web site. However, I was still bent on working on the Web and I expressed this to my boss, which was just fine with her.

And then...just recently, we had a sort of a re-org. I found out that I was being pulled out from Web, and that they were making me Content Supervisor. I also found out that I did not have any much choice because (a) the new Web editor position has new requirements which I cannot fulfill (background in local/international music scene), and (b) I was already doing supervisory work anyway. That means, I'm pretty stuck. It's fine in a way because there are opportunities where I can move up, but...honestly, I'm still happier with Web work. And I had sort of planned to work on Web for at least the next 5 years of my life (if I were not to fulfill my other dream--that's another story).

So...where do I go from here?

We'll see.

Schadenfraude

That's the feeling of pleasure at the misfortune of others.

(It's one of John's favorite words. But just for today, I will borrow it.)

I'd love to blog about it, but I'm afraid I'd have to savor it myself (or risk being branded "demonyita"). Let me, please? Just for one day. One day, to drink in the sweet taste of karma.

Forgive the smile pasted on my face.

Today is the day I will never forget!

=)

Irritant of the week

Last Monday, this person sent me an SMS of lines from an erotic poem I wrote back in college. I asked who he was, but he did not identify himself. Instead, he answered that he was someone I knew from my "UP days". When I asked that he identify himself, he said I've already forgotten about him just because I was married.

I did not answer after his second message. Instead, I asked Armel to text this particular person we worked with in the past. I had a strong feeling that this person was my "mystery texter" because (1) he was the only person who always kidded me about "getting married and forgetting" about him, (2) he may really have a copy of that poem because I remember having shared my written works with some coworkers in the past, and the third reason...you'll find out later.

So Armel texted him. His answer was something like, "you're texting because of the poem I have of Micaela". And when Armel did not answer back, he texted again that we (Armel and I) called each other "mudra/muds".

While he texted Armel, he also sent me some text messages. In these messages, he claimed he was my ex (when I did not have any exes because Neil was the only boy I went out with, loved, and married). I was getting irritated already, but there was one message that got me totally upset and disgusted (I won't put it here anymore).

I told Armel: this guy is not my friend. If he keeps buggin me via SMS and tells me this, he is not my friend. He does not have any respect for me. He is not my friend.

So, if YOU somehow know of this blog and you are reading this, you now know how I feel.

Subic trip

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Originally uploaded by micaela.

Two weekends ago we headed to Subic for an early birthday celeb for Lia. Why Subic? Lia still hasn't stepped on (beach) sand, there are many other activities we can do in Subic besides going to the beach, and we can bring along family and friends. (Oh and did I mention? We were planning for a trip to Singapore but Neil had to buy his Dopod...so there goes Singapore.)

We stayed in a nice, small hotel (thanks to Ginny's reco), went to Ocean Adventure to watch the dolphins, missed the Zoobic safari because we had a very long lunch at Cafe Xpresso, and shopped. We almost decided on extending our stay for one more day but Ryan had to work the next day.

Nevertheless, even if we missed the safari, Lia still enjoyed the weekend trip. :)

Side effects

After reading some facts about cancer, I was enlightened. I found out that my mom can fight it. So many people have conquered it, why not Mama?

Mama has been taking the pills for a week now. And now I can see what it does to her.She's cranky and moody. Every day she finds reason to get mad about something. She does not like visitors, does not like mingling. The staff at her school wanted to visit her, but she won't let them.

I told her sisters about it. One said she'd take her in her house for a while for a change of scenery. Another said I should bring her to the church every day.

I'm praying she'll find strength in fighting this disease. That's all I ask. Five years is long, and it takes a lot to swallow a pill every day even if it's not making you feel any good.

Stage 2

After Mama's mastectomy, we found out her cancer was on stage 2. Histopath results found that she had 30% risk of recurrence.

She was given two options for treatment: (a) chemotherapy for six months, then on the seventh month, hormonal inhibition until the fifth year; or (b) hormonal inhibition for five years. The treatment can only lower the risk to, at most, 20%. It will never go down to zero, according to the Oncologist, until Mama has reached her 10th year without the cancer coming back.

Chemotherapy has 2% advantage over hormonal inhibition. Meaning, if she undergoes chemo, her risk will lower to 20%. If she undergoes hormonal inhibition, the risk will be down to 22%. Considering the pain, side effects, and expenses, we decided to take hormonal inhibition. That means, a pill of Arimidex a day, for five years. One pill costs P437.20, which adds up to about P13K a month. Kinda expensive, but I guess we have to be thankful that we're not spending on hospital bills, or something that's more than that.

Hiatus in the dark

Aaarrggghh. Over three months of not blogging. No wonder I've been experiencing a certain imbalance in my life.

A lot of things happened within those three months, but there was one thing, one big thing that shook our world. In February, Mama complained of a lump in her breast. In March, she was advised to undergo mastectomy of her left breast.

Those weeks were one of the darkest in my life. It was cancer for Mother. The night we found out, I took shelter in our bedroom, cried out to God. He was the only one I could talk to. Although I had Neil to comfort me, Lia to make me laugh, and my mother's sisters to ask for advice from, I felt all alone.

27th

Yeah, getting older...:) That's why my birthdays are getting simpler. Less of the celebrating. Why is that so? Shouldn't we have more parties and more fun each year that we grow older? Someone should change the rules.

I spent my birthday with my family. Went to Enchanted Kingdom, upon Neil's insistence. Classic family day! Hahaha. It rained a little, but it was all right, we still stayed in the park. It was Lia's first time there, too. Neil and I, wise parents that we are, took Lia with us to ride the hot air balloon. We didn't realize that the speed was - fast. During the middle of the ride, Lia had her head bent already from dizziness. My mother was gesturing wildly from the sidelines, desperately telling us to let Lia down already. Poor baby! She was dizzy when we got out, but she was a sport. She still smiled and babbled after the ride.

Had lunch at Tita Gaya's, who lived just ten minutes away from the park. We ordered lechon kawali, plus we brought kare-kare and rellenong bangus (cooked by Manang Naty, our ex-maid who stayed with the family for 10 or so years, and who still is in touch with us).

We were on our way home at around seven in the evening. Was supposed to meet up with John and other friends, but John - well, he slept through the day and through the night. So we just had pizza at home.

It was a tiring day, but it was a brand new experience for me, spending my birthday exclusively with my family. I was happy; the simple kind of happy. :)

The three little...friends!

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Originally uploaded by micaela.

And here we are - Maiete, John, and me. That's in Mario's, where Maiete and Geoff held their reception.

Right after the wedding...

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Originally uploaded by micaela.

We pose outside the chapel. =)

Highway Queen

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Originally uploaded by micaela.

Of course we were late. Again. =p Maiete's wedding was at 10AM, and I was still in curlers, blowdrying my hair and applying makeup on my face.

So! Here we are...while running from the hotel to the church...and we still manage to take a snap! Hahaha.

Haggard, hectic, holidays

The 2005 holidays are my most hectic, hurried, haggard! I was out almost every day of the week last December for Christmas parties, Christmas dinners, and frenzied Christmas shopping. Come to think of it, maybe it was bad planning. I knew it; I should have done my Christmas shopping last June and finished by September.

Also, Maiete got married on the 23rd in Baguio, and John and me braved the Baguio weather (hahaha -- pretending to blame the weather -- we had pure fun!) to attend her wedding. (Pics will be posted after this.) When we got back to Manila it was the 24th already!

The 24th went by in a blur. I still had eight gifts to shop, so I rushed to the mall in the morning. I wrapped everything went I got home. After dinner, we left for Sta. Rosa, Laguna, where we spent our Christmas eve.

The next day I was in my most haggard state. We passed by Neil's relatives' province (Cavite). We stayed there for about 30 minutes, because we were to have lunch at my relatives in Alabang. Dinnertime was spent with Neil's relatives in Las Piñas.

Thank God the 26th was a holiday. I was able to rest, even for a bit!

Got music? I have!

Yesssss, I finally got my iPod Nano today!!! Neil surprised me with this early Christmas gift, hehehe.

Just got a little messed up installing the darned software. Had to reset the Nano, reinstall the software, reset the PC. Thanks to Armel's help...he walked me through the installation process for the second time. How stupid can I get? Oh well...I must have missed a click or two and I must have slightly disobeyed warnings about connecting the iPod...;p But anyway, was able to fix it. So now am madly importing songs and folders and CDA files!

Have to get those screen protectors and case for the Nano soon. And maybe Lanyard earphones, hmmmm. And then pray that someone wraps up those teeny Bose speakers for me for Christmas. ;p

Yay! There won't be much sleep for me tonight. Hehehe.

She's leaving home...

Sigh. Tomorrow, my best friend Tiffany's leaving. She's joining the ship for the South America/Carribean cruise. She'll be gone for another ten months.

I SMS'd best friend Ruth earlier and mused about the two of us being left again. And then she's (Ruth) next to leave (because she's pursuing her OT career in the US), and then it's just me.

Darn. Why do people have to come, and then go? My oldest best friend (meaning, we've been BFs since second grade) has already left for the US four years ago. Sure, there are phone calls and occasional emails (hey, not my fault, Hazel's too lazy even to read email, let alone reply), but it's not the same. Heck, she missed my wedding. And even Lia's birth. I have to understand why she can't come home, and I'm just comforted by the thought that she's there in spirit.

Ooooh well. I guess sometimes life has to work that way. And I have to be thankful that life worked for us four to still be part of each other's lives.

XXXOOO (Hugs and Kisses)

When she saw my tear-streaked face, she reached out, almost instantly -

And she struggled to stand, balancing her body on the unstable bed mattress -

Reached out, leaned very close -

Kissed my tears and embraced my neck.

And when I didn't stop

She did it again, and again

Her hugs becoming tighter than the previous one

As she tried her very best to comfort Mommy.

At last, succeeding

Mother and daughter embrace each other

And sleep in each other's arms.

Unbecoming

I figured it out. I've just been so out of it the past weeks. Everything felt like 'blah'. Sure, I had Lia to cheer me up when I got home from work, but when I go to sleep, there's something different, even strange, that I feel.

I lost it. I lost my sense of kakikayan! OMG. Whatever happened to "beauty above all"? It's lost, lost, lost, I tell you!

I realized it when I found myself thinking about that item I've been eyeing at the mall. A four-burner plus two-rack Elba oven. Not that Body Shop liquid foundation, nor the L'oreal juicy tubes I've always-wanted-to-buy-but-now-it's-pushed-to-the-back-of-my-mind. No.

And when I did realize that indeed, my habits, priorities, and wants have changed, I panicked. I looked at myself in the mirror - in horror. Dark rings under my eyes. More pronounced pores (God, I need that facial ASAP). Long unkempt hair. And my fat bulging tummy that's mostly-post-pregnancy-but-never-did-anything-about-it-so-now-it's-bulging-more-than-ever.

So unbecoming!

I hate myself.

But I thought, I have to do something. It's just not me. It's like I lost a part of myself. Of my soul.

Therefore: I asked help from Mudra - Armel. I asked for a makeover.

God help me!

My best friend's engagement

Tomorrow, Ruth and I are going to see Tiff and her fiance Tadgh. We already saw Tiff last Sunday, a few hours after she landed. Tadgh arrived Monday night, and we have yet to see him (well, I've already met him last year, but Ruth has not.)

Tiff and Tadgh are engaged now...and in a few days the couple shall announce the big news to the family. Tiff is also working on getting an Irish visa so she can go meet Tadgh's family.

But tomorrow, we are suprising them...oh yes we are! Hahaha! (When Tiff finds out it was my idea, I'm sure she'd kill me.)

I ordered balloons from balloonist Petite (she made the balloons for Lia's party). I don't know yet what the bunch looks like, but I specified champagne glass, dark blue or dark red balloons (Tiff's favorite colors), and an arrangement that spells engagement. ;p

Am praying Tiff won't think of reading my blog tonight...

Long weekend, yay!

Thanks to GMA's SONA, Monday is a holiday. Woohoo!

What to do? Tomorrow, shop for Lia's clothes (can't believe how fast she's outgrown her clothes). Tomorrow night - well, await Tiffany's arrival (hope we can chat as soon as your plane lands, Tiff, hehehe). Sunday, laze around. Oh, maybe drop by the salon and have my eyebrows thread(ed) and my hair cut. And pedicure and manicure. Monday, laze around some more. Hehehe.

Shaddup

I'm telling that to myself. After getting into trouble (twice, mind you) yesterday for not keeping my mouth shut.

The first one, for divulging information that I hadn't intended to...and leading to some people getting harassed and hurt. It was never intended - it was information that I "gave" because the topic of conversation was related to that particular matter.

The second one - for sharing a problem with someone...and her sharing it with people I least wished to share with. Now everyone's concerned over it. That's okay, except that that problem I had - it's already resolved. Sigh. Now the issue's back and am in big trouble again.

Haaaay, stress. Need facial.