0917 8457086

That is the number of this guy who's been bothering me for two weeks now.

His first call - he was looking for Maui. I told him he had the wrong number.

His second, it was 4am the next day.

He would let my phone ring.

Three in the morning (while I was at the beach), he called me. And then wouldn't speak on the phone.

Today at 230 he called up. He wouldn't say a word. I called him up.

Sorry, just wondering where I got your number, he says.

Well I don't know! I say. I've already told you I wasn't Maui, so why do you still keep on calling me?

He tries to apologize. I give him more of that don't give me that B.S. thing.

He goes on to text me: can we be friends, then?

Cheapo.

Grrrr.

A most unusual (but great, nevertheless) beach trip

That was a very pleasant beach trip we had during the weekend.

As usual, it was John and me again, and everyone had their excuses. Hmp.

We left Manila at around 430 in the morning. First surprise: we arrived at the Batangas City pier a little before 630 - which let us board the 630 outrigger boat to White Beach. At 8am we found our perfect nipa hut (airconditioned, mind you), and at 9 we had finished our breakfast. First activity for the day?

Sleep, of course! Until around 1pm. When we were finally fully awake, we changed into our beach attires and headed for the shore. While I was lying down sunning myself, John was out in the water, wading nearby. Soon he was talking to this guy (who looked like he was trying to pick up John). I later found out that the guy's name was Raymond (as he was introduced to me).

Later that night, we saw Raymond again, hanging out with a couple-friend of his. He offered his seat to us. At first we declined, but he was too nice and insisted that we have a seat, so we did. I could tell he was curious about John and me (well, more about John ;p). I found out that he was a freelance scriptwriter.

Soon Raymond retired (I don't know where), and we were left watching the rest of the beautiful gay people around the bar. We got a little bored, so we decided to hang out in our hut for a while, and then go out again later (when hopefully there will be more beautiful people). But no! As soon as we hit the bed, we fell asleep. Fast.

Woke up early the next morning (another surprise), had breakfast (and I saw a classmate from college), and - went back to sleep. Woke up at noon, hung out the beach (I had a massage), John collected stones, Raymond came over for a little chat again, and then lunch.

As we were lining up for the boat ride back to Batangas, Raymond came running. Hitch with my couple-friends, he said. Uh, okay, we reply (a little cold and uncomfortable). Hmm, I told John. Your charms REALLY work.

We ended up hitching with Raymond's friends. They were a nice couple. It was from them that we found out that Raymond was an award-winning scriptwriter (Tanging Yaman, Anak). He was Raymond Lee.

As the weekend ended, John and I kept on thinking, how come nothing went wrong during this trip?

I can only mutter a word of thanks. It was a pretty darn good beach trip.

"Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return..." - William Wirt, American lawyer

If you really knew me, and years from now would try to recall one distinct character of mine, what would it be?

One of two things: the passion I have for things (especially the things I love); or, my lust for learning.

I don't know where I get the passion from, but I've just been this way with everything that I do. Come to think of it, I don't quite understand why.

And then learning. Oh yes, I have always been curious of things, and I yearn to learn. This has gotten me into trouble though - when time came that I wanted to do a lot of things all at the same time. I find it a healthy exercise, though.

If you really knew me, and years from now would try to recall one distinct frustration I have, what would it be?

One: having the opportunity to learn - and then having it taken away from you. Not even a glimpse of it allowed.

And then frustration turns to disgust.

Endangered culture

If there is such a thing.

Just before I left the office today, April and I were talking about the company culture. How it started, flourished, and eventually faded. Now it's almost gone - one crucial thing that brought us in (at least us oldies) into the company...the invisible thread that goes through each of us and holds us together, the one ring to bind us (eeeek, enough already).

Anyway. As always, we had one of those moments again, when one itsy bitsy question brought out a concern which in turn stirred our emotions and bang - there we were letting out our heartaches and frustrations.

And it all boiled down to one - culture endangered. Indeed, in a company like ours, where does one find comfort, and at the same time, inspiration, but in each other? The nagging issue now is - where is it? Where is the culture we once had?

Back to reality

I wish I can go on like this...but two days of not really talking to anyone - I learned - can raise the alarm. Friends have been sending me text messages and calling me on my cell (and landline, but I told my roommate to tell them I was asleep) but I ignored them (some I totally ignored; others I at least replied to tell them I was fine). I accepted a friend's offer to sleep over his place, but I could not tell him anything. I was quiet than ever. I declined another offer for me to stay there the whole day and think things over - decided to go home instead. [I had this urge to pluck the strings of my guitar; that I cannot ignore when I'm having the blues.]

Why do I have all these things to think about? Most of the time i just want to whack my head on the wall. Life is so simple - as I'm constantly reminded by a friend - but I just damn keep on forgetting.

So - again, I'm taking things one day at a time.

Besides, with friends and loved ones like that, who wouldn't want to give life a chance?

This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels

I have held the hand of a devil

It was warm in the night

I was cold as stone

But I still

haven't found

what I'm looking for

U2

Shut

That's where I want to be. What I want to do.

I've been thinking again. Oh, I hate it when this happens. I had this glazed look since last week. I wish because I've been high on something - but no.

I wish I'd stop already.

Somebody shoot me.

Starfish, playing on the sand

Pretty as the Sunset,

--Orange and Purple

And oh the wild streak

Of motley hues

Of silent clues

Makes me wonder

Oh Starfish, come

Near so I may touch

Your fragile tips

Supple bumps

Sweet mouth

There you go

--But not quite

Leave, don’t leave

Starfish, no

01.28.03

ExcIETy

I'm for confusion!!! I don't know if its excitement or anxiety.

I was wrong when I thought that after bringing Neil to that family affair, the excitement would subside.

But no! Mom calls every day and asks (randomly) about the wedding deetz. My Tita Gaya calls me on my cell asking me to please reserve the venue already (thank God that's been settled!). My cousin Mattie texts me regularly (and calls me on the landline now when she used to not call me and would even choose not to reply to my texts) and asks how I'm doing (or more importantly, what I'm doing about the wedding). Coworkers make it a part of the daily comfort room chitchat. Fortunately my maids-of-honor are too busy with their own lives to send me a text message of a daily countdown for the wedding.

Or so I thought. I met up with Cam last night. We spent *some* time discussing the wedding deetz. So much so that I was thinking of what we had discussed until I fell asleep.

And the dreams came. And they never stopped until I woke up the next morning.

I dreamt of my wedding day. I was in my dress already. I was in hysterics. Apparently the caterer fails to deliver the food, and the misalette has been forgotten (as in nada - no misalette, no printouts, no copies). It's three hours until the wedding. No one offered any solutions. I was helpless.

I woke up this morning with the feeling that my gastritis problem has doubled up because of the stress I had in that dream! Crazy ( as Neil had said later this afternoon, when I told him about it) as it is, I was thinking of that stupid dream the whole day. It did nothing to help ease my nerves.

Don't blame me if one day I suddenly pack up with Neil and leave for Vegas. Mwahahaha.

It's a blah week

yeah. it is.

Vida is born!

Yes! Finally. At 1:38 this morning.

Totong says she looks exactly like Ginny. Ooh I can't wait to see her.

Neil meets the rest of the family

He did - the night of my birthday!

As we entered my tita's house, everyone's eyes were on Neil. Everyone started talking all at once (that was comforting - at least we didn't get a menacing silence) - I didn't know to whom and how I would introduce Neil. Tita Lolly to the rescue - she pulled Neil by her side and started introducing him - "Neil, Mica's fiance" - to everyone. Everyone said a warm hello - and Tito Rudy came over, shook Neil by his hand, and asked in his loudest, snarling voice a series of questions that had Neil nodding with his frozen smile. Tita Lolly pulled him away again, as everyone laughed at my tito's attempt to scare him off.

Surprisingly, I didn't have butterflies in my stomach that night. At all.

Can't wait for Vida

Vida is Ginny and Kin's daughter. She's coming out this week - and the proud ninang that I will be - I can't wait.

Welcome, honey. La Vida Misa.

It's a sick birthday

I came back from Nasugbu, Batangas yesterday with a fever (and burning, I tell ya). I was pretty okay at the beach - after I got up from sunbathing and went in to take my bath and change for home, I wasn't looking very good anymore.

They took me away from the beach, that's why! Hehehehe.

Anyway. I'm at the office today, working. I didn't want to stay home - pathetic. I decided I can handle work anyway.

Sigh.

Bookings galore

Why is everyone suddenly texting/calling me for bookings?

"Before you get married!" they say. "Let's go for one last trip/dinner/movie/coffee chat/shopping spree."

Why is it that I have to do "one last thing" before I say "I do"?

Nobody tells me why. Calling...all my married friends. What is it??? Whaaaat???

The newest New Year

Two more days 'til the new year starts.

I can't wait.

It'd be a different year, I'm sure. Well, this year has been a whole lot different - but I bet next year will be more, and there will be more of what I had this year.

Eeeek. My heart gives a different beat whenever I think of the coming year.

I think this is where I say - be still, my heart.

Holiday binge

To the max!

Eeek. I don't even wanna continue to talk about it.

Blech.

It's cab drivers' week

Yeah, if these frikkin idiots had a week in their commemoration, this would be it. Only it would be a different kind of commemoration. No one celebrates it but them.

So what happens during this week?

Oh, they get to choose their passengers. Or refuse them. Or charge an incredibly large fare. Or threaten the poor, unfortunate souls ("us") into not dropping them off where they're really headed.

And how they celebrate! They have their "Taxi" signs on, and have no passengers. They pass by slowly, making us think that they're "For Hire" - but they do that just to mock you and say, Ha! You pathetic git. You can't get a ride, hahaha.

Damn those cab drivers!!!!!!!!

Freaky!

Last Monday, I made a phone call to our caterer. (Note: I claim her "our" caterer, because we're really considering her to be the caterer for the wedding.) The person who answered told me to call again on the 19th (yesterday), because the caterer was on vacation.

I called up yesterday. A woman answered - who I found out later, was her cousin. I asked for the caterer.

I was in for a surprise. The caterer, she said, was buried just yesterday.

It took me a while to recover. It was just plain freaky (sorry Mrs. Caterer). I mean, someone from their family told me she was on vacation - perhaps they didn't know what to tell me. And here I was, thinking she was on vacation.

May she rest in peace.

Meanwhile, it's time to look for another one.

168 days to go

Or so they say at theknot.com. =)

There's less anxiety now. The Discovery Weekend helped a lot - not to mention a very timely phone call that I received Thursday night, a day before our pre-marriage seminar.

I was praying for a sign the whole week before the seminar. It's not that I relayed on that seminar to determine our fates (although people made a joke on that). I needed to understand what I or we were getting into.

The experience was - sublime. It wasn't the usual - that I can say. They touched on delicate topics like morality and sexuality...which we found surprising, and good. There were really a lot of learnings. At the end of the seminar, we were a little bit tired from waking up early and staying up until late at night for the whole thing, but it was worth it.

Like all the other things that I have gone through this year, this is yet another puzzle with its pieces starting to fall into place. The difference is, this is one puzzle that I'm going to work on with Neil.

Not alone. Not anymore.

=)